Rain weeps from the clouds above Seattle this morning, like it normally does in the colder months. Every building, every house, no matter what color it’s painted seems to turn gray. It’s almost as if the city were an aging person. The palette of Seattle itself may not be vibrant, but it is distinct. Moss green, rust brown, fog gray and mold black. To me, the humidity seems to make everything feel colder than it probably is in reality. You may know about the haunted feel of New Orleans, but Seattle’s got that feel, too. Like the city’s crowded not just with the living, but with the dead, as well. Makes me feel comfortable knowing I’m never alone.

“Think I’ll be a shot-caller one day, Perce?” Hyena asks me over the thudding base of the Too Short CD we’ve got playing.

“Hell yeah, I do.” I feel relaxed and positive thanks to MadBlack’s pipe. “You handle pressure well for a young gun. If you live long enough I don’t see any reason you won’t become an OG, true Seattle elite.”

“That’s the tricky part, ain’t it?” Hyena’s watching the houses roll by out his window, deep in his own high. “Stayin’ alive on the streets where only the strongest survive. Sometimes I wonder, though, if I’m hard enough.”

“Well,” I’m trying to remember if it’s Cascade Boulevard or Lone Oak Street that’ll get us to Thunder Gate faster, “It’s a dangerous game you’re playing. Only way to know if you’re hard enough to make it is by passing the trials and tribulations you get thrown at you as you’re comin’ up. The higher up you go, the longer the fall is goin’ back down. A lot of men break when they fall. Only a few ever get back up and try again.”

“I don’t wanna die, Perce.”

“That’s a good instinct. Called self-preservation.”

He nods silently. Right now the best thing I can offer the boy is calm acceptance, a listening ear. For the rest of the drive he keeps to himself, watching the city as we pass through it. I doubt he’ll fully realize the depth of this lifestyle he admires so much for several more years. Many never do or maybe they do as they fade from this world staring up at a merciless sky, the interior of an ambulance or the nauseating fluorescent lights all hospitals seem to have. No one’s forced into this way of life. We all choose it. For some, no other pursuits offer quite the same shade of glory or thrilling reward as the path of the gangsta. I have a feeling this is the case for the boy formerly known as Sam.

Pulling into the apartment complex’s parking lot seems to cause Hyena to tense a bit. As bad as last night might’ve been for him, he’s probably far more worried about the reaction he’ll face from his own flesh and blood. He may well have an idea about his Aunt’s plans since he talked to his sister last night. Tiff’s never been a fan of his ambitions, nor mine. She can be understanding when she wants to, but after all the drama she’s gone through lately, there’s not a chance in hell that she’ll be receptive to anything other than her brother boarding that plane back to Texas.

“Coming in with me, Perce?” Hyena’s eyes are pleading in a way he can’t allow his voice to.

“I suppose I could.” (Although I’d rather be nearly anywhere else in the universe right about now.) “If you think you’ll need a little back-up.”

“You dated Tiff for a while, didn’t you?”

“I did, yeah.”

“‘Nuff said.” He smirks at me.

I let Hyena lead the way up to his aunt’s door. Though I could use a cigarette right now, I know Tiff dislikes smoking so I figure her aunt’s even worse about it. Although it would make a good excuse to stay outside during the opening salvos of the battle I’m sure looms ahead of us, I decide to be brave and hold off. The front door must’ve been replaced because it looks newer than the rest of the ones in this complex. Hyena reaches out and turns the knob, but it’s locked so he rings the bell.

Author’s Notes: Hold your breath……